I want to tell you all something shocking. Here it goes…there have been moments in my life when I’ve had too much to drink. Just the other day, I was having a delightful, intelligent conversation with one of my friends when all of a sudden, I lost the ability to sit in a chair like a human being. After getting up off the floor, it’s possible I had to admit to myself that I should stop drinking. You see, that is a drunk fail. When the alcohol in your system takes over, and your mind and body turn to jelly. The good thing for me, however, is that there are so many other fails that are much worse, and I want to share these today.
Tom Hanks Fail
Epic. It’s one thing to have your friends take a picture with your drunk ass. It’s a whole other thing when an Academy Award-winning actor/director takes a picture with you. No matter what this guy does in the rest of his life (i.e. cures cancer), this will be what everyone will remembers him for.
Hair Fire Fail
This guy has like 2 cm of hair. How he didn’t realize his actual scalp was on fire is a total fail. Hopefully, he didn’t have to get a skin graft.
Sandwich. Get it? She’s the meat in a cat and toilet sandwich. Good thing there is a pic to always remember this moment.
Duct Tape Fail
Hopefully, this guy is wearing pants. (I won’t explain why I said that.)
Car Jump Fail
This guy obviously thought he would be able to defy the rules of gravity, fly straight out by 6 feet, and drop gracefully into the water. If he’s not drunk, then he’s just a moron.
Cap’n Crunch Fail
I’m not so sure this is a fail. That art work is impressive. If I were that guy, I’d head straight to a tattoo parlor in the morning, and ask them to trace over this. (I love Cap’n Crunch cereal.)
What’s that saying? Friends that pass out on a dirty bathroom floor together, stay together? At least that one girl didn’t lose her phone. That’s actually a win.
Text Fail #1
This guy is definitely single now. I would like to find him, and ask him if he can just text me when he’s drunk. I think that would be fun.
Text Fail #2
The only thing that gave him away as drunk was the use “donzen”. A baby and a half dozen of babies is a perfectly acceptable amount to drink.
Road Rage Fail
At first this guy seemed really mad at this car, but then he realized he should actually seduce it. His friend wasn’t a very good wing man.
So this is a fail for her, but a win for the rest of the world.
Sure, having cigarette butts shoved in your mouth and nose is pretty bad, but having your entire face colored with a Sharpie is really bad. I’m sure this guy had a hard time being in public for a while after this.
Moving Door Fail
This guy was like, “screw all the stationary objects and walls around here, I’m chilling on this train door.”