My goodness. The year has just flown by. It seems like just yesterday that I was learning how to turn on a computer, so that I might have a way to broadcast a love affair with wine to the world. Anyway, because I like to be an open book about this Wine Gifted thing, here is a year-end report.
Wine consumed: The end of the year holidays caused me to really step up my wine consumption. In fact, I now shoot red wine from my wrists in a Spiderman-like fashion. I do not have superhero status, however. Apparently, people want nothing to do with my wrist wine.
Being on the Facebook: When I was a child, I always dreamt of a place where I could bear my soul, and be judged by strangers for it. I can’t believe Facebook gave me the opportunity to make my dream a reality this year. Also, I always really wanted a place where I could compare my current self to people I knew in High School. Boom! Facebook.
Being on the Twitter: I have been trying to make friends on Twitter again. I have been giving people my lunch money every day, and telling them they can use my parents’ house to throw a party. I hope I get a lot of people to sign my yearbook.
Being on the Instagram: I tried to be a good phone photographer, but I couldn’t figure out how to get the film out of my iPhone. I think what I need to do is invest in a Blackberry polaroid camera next year. That way, I can get my phone pictures immediately.
Time spent on the computer: 1,000 years. That’s right. I now have to measure my computer time into the future. If that doesn’t make any sense, it’s because I am so computerly advanced, there is no way to comprehend the measurement of my time anymore.
Money: I have closed out the year at $88.55. Being that I was projecting $25, I would say the year was quite successful. As you can see, I am a very good business person. If any of you should need any tips, feel free to shoot me a fax, or maybe hit me up on AOL chat.
Self-confidence: Like I said, I feel like a pretty good business person, which I guess means self-confidence has gone up. I suppose next year will be the year to invest in a power suit and briefcase. I’m sure I will be attending many meetings on Wall Street. (Or maybe just on a street. Or my street. Or maybe a street in my head.)
As always, I must mention this disclaimer: my year-end calculations are real-ish. It’s possible I may have exaggerated a couple things here and there. Please know, however, that my heart is in the right place.
