The wheel. The light bulb. The selfie stick. These are some of the most important inventions that have brought us to the modern world we love and enjoy. Or, at least, they’ve brought to the world that we temporarily accept and tolerate because we have no other choice. Well, move over Thomas Edison and John Selfie-Stick, a new invention is about to shock and inebriate the world.
As The Washington Post reports, David Nutt has used his powers as a neuropsychopharmacology professor to create an alcohol substitute called Alcarelle. After initially thinking that this was a new kind of hand sanitizer, I was extremely pleased to learn that Alcarelle is actually the drankin’ kind of substance. Nutt has used chemical compounds to create an alcohol alternative that gives you that booze buzz without the hangover. Nutt’s magical chemicals target specific areas of the brain so that you not only get that loose feeling that results from a couple drinks; you get the happy feeling as well (it gets those dopamine and serotonin levels up.)
What is also interesting is that Mr. Nutt’s researchers have manipulated compounds so that excessive drinking does not occur. This is because the effects of the chemicals cap out after a certain amount of drinks. What you get is a blackout-free, alcohol-poisoning-free experience. It’s important to note here that Nutt’s goal goes beyond providing an enjoyable recreational adult drink. His work is to not only eliminate the damaging effects alcohol has on the organs, but also help people curb alcoholism. Moreover, the liquid has no calories. I’ll say that again…NO CALORIES. We’ll be excited to add this to our list of low calorie drinks.
If you’re thinking of heading over to the local booze aisle to get yourself a bottle, hold your horses. If I remember anything from my extensive training at the Institute of High School Science Class, it’s that inventions made of chemicals need to be thoroughly tested by a bunch of third party science people before the government people give it the thumbs up. This hasn’t happened with Alcarelle quite yet, so you’ll have to wait a little while before you can get your hands on it.
SPECIAL NOTE TO MR. NUTT: I will volunteer to drink your fascinating elixir prior to the government peoples’ approval. I’ll write all about it, too. Hell, if it works, I’ll shout about it from all the mountaintops. Please contact me.