I don’t know if you’ve heard the hot, breaking news, but North Korea has claimed to invent a liquor that does not cause hangovers. DO YOU HEAR THAT, SCIENCE? NORTH KOREA HAS BEAT YOU!
As reported by the Pyongyang Times, the Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory has successfully discovered that instead of sugar, burnt rice and ginseng root should be used to produce the perfect alcoholic drink. The state-run news outlet reported that, “Koryo Liquor, which is made of six-year-old Kaesong Koryo insam, known as being highest in medicinal effect, and the scorched rice, is highly appreciated by experts and lovers as it is suave and causes no hangover.”
Indeed, what an amazing achievement to add to North Korea’s long list of incredible scientific marvels, which include the cure for cancer and HIV/AIDS. Perhaps the fact that the North Koreans supposedly successfully tested a hydrogen bomb that could wipe us all off the face of the Earth should be forgotten. Why? Hangovers are awful, and if I can sacrifice the fate of the whole world for the chance to drink without feeling ill the next morning, I’ll take it!
Of course, I am not serious. North Korea is bringing its people back to a time where propaganda forcefully overrules fact and reason. As to why alcohol and hangovers have become a significant point of discussion, I am not sure. However, I suppose the North Koreans believe it to be an accomplishment that should intimidate the bulk of the outside world. Whatever the reason may be, it is another bizarre step made by the supreme leader Kim Jon Un, who apparently has the focus and fortitude to meet all the world’s scientific needs due to an immunity to hangovers.