It’s been a relatively interesting week of current events. I can say that I’ve had some drinks in “honor” of a few of these events. Let’s take a look, shall we?
The Presidential Race is a Circus
As you probably saw this week, Mitt Romney spoke out against Donald Trump, providing further proof that the Republican Party is becoming extremely divided over who should become their presidential candidate. But that’s not even the main event of this circus. Showing off their impeccable debate skills, and demonstrating a deep knowledge of the important issues, Marco Rubio and Donald Trump spent some time during the most recent debate discussing the size of Trump’s private part. (Yup…You can’t un-think about that now.)
There’s a Company That Will Break Up for You
Providing us with another avenue by which we don’t have to physically communicate with each other, The Breakup Shop will dump your significant other for you via text, email, phone call, or old fashioned letter. The brothers that founded the company said that their work is a part of the fight against ghosting (disappearing on someone you’re dating instead of just ending it.) Indeed, it’s so much better to include a 3rd party in the humiliation of being dumped…way better for the self esteem.
Los Angeles Police are Testing a Knife Found at O.J.’s House
A retired cop handed over a knife that was found on the former property of O.J. Simpson. Apparently, it was given to him several years ago by a construction laborer working on the property. As to why the retired cop waited until now to turn in the knife has yet to be addressed. However, my thoughts are he was just waiting for the perfect T.V. series to come along and sweep him off his evidentiary feet. The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story seems to be the lucky show. Oh, the crazy things we do for fame.
I Missed the Academy Awards
Yeah, I totally missed the Academy Awards. Apparently, I’ve been living blindfolded under a rock with my hands over my ears. I didn’t realize it was on, and was instead watching The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story on the DVR. This made it very hard to make small talk around the water cooler. And by “small talk around the water cooler”, I mean talking to my little cat while she’s drinking from her water bowl.
Ahhh…talking about all this stuff is reminding me of those drinks I had. I might go ahead and re-visit some right now. This concludes our report.
(Cover Photo: Donald Trump/Twitter)