Ever since I was very young (which wasn’t that long ago, contrary to belief of all the people younger than me), Taco Bell has always been known as the go-to place for extremely cheap fast food. It was always a part of my life. It was even served at my high school as a school lunch. (The school district obviously cared deeply for the health of its students.) This is why I was shocked to hear that Taco Bell is planning to serve alcohol at one of their locations. The New York Times recently reported that a Wicker Park/Chicago Taco Bell will start serving beer, wine, and “mixed alcohol freezes” this summer.
Apparently, they’ve already done it in Britain, South Korea, and Japan, so I assume the decision to bring it to the States means that it was a success. The report goes on to explain that it is likely part of Taco Bell’s attempt to change its cheap-o fast food image. I see this as brilliant and terrifying at the same time. Brilliant because I do think it will bring more customers into Taco Bell. Terrifying because now there is nothing that will stop our drunk alter egos from eating and drinking massive amounts of Taco Bell.
I try to eat relatively well; however, when I am drinking at a bar or elsewhere, I don’t make the wisest food decisions. Nachos? Sure. French fries? Bring it on. Tin can? I’ll eat it all. Yes, I basically become a goat. You see, the bar feeds the demons. There’s no need to ever leave. The food is there, and more drink is there. The problem that exists, however, that the bar food is not often cheap. Waking up with a $200 receipt in your pocket (yes, maybe I passed out with my pants on) is enough reason to take a bar break for a while. But what happens when there is a place where you can drink, and order $1 tacos and burritos at all times? Chaos.
No longer will Taco Bell be just a drive through play. We’ll have to stop in, and get some drinks. Then we’ll order some tacos. Have some more drinks. Order more tacos. It just won’t stop! It will be a never ending, highly affordable cycle of wine, beer, and taco. At this time, Taco Bell says they don’t have any plans to open up other alcoholic locations; however, you know as well as I do that, if the concept blows up in Chicago, there will certainly be more to follow. I guess I should start drunk meditating or something to train my mind to resist the temptation! Taco Bell, you’re the devil.
UPDATE ON 6/12/15: Taco Bell has announced it also plans to open a San Francisco store that will serve alcohol. You see…it’s happening…