Alcohol Humor Satire Slurred Words

Things That Definitely Go Better With A Drink

This may come as a shock to some of you; however, I partake in drinking alcoholic beverages from time to time. When I do dabble in fermented liquid refreshments, I try to engage in activities that might enhance my experience. In my short, yet satisfactory life, I have found that the things below definitely go better with a drink. You should really try it.

Dinner

No-brainer, right? It’s always great to pair a drink to the meal that you are consuming for dinner. No matter what the drink is (wine, beer, liquor, or mixed drink), there is a food pairing that goes well with it. Also, obviously, dinner directly follows your long and stressful day. It’s a brilliant idea to wind down with some good drinks, and delicious food.

Breakfast, Lunch, Afternoon Snack, Mid-Evening Snack, Bedtime Snack

Oh yeah, a drink pretty much pairs well with every other part of the day as well. So just go for it.

Strangers

Meeting new people is tough. Introductions, small talk, drug exchange…it can all be pretty awkward. You need something to loosen those lips, so that first impression is a good one. A drink can help with that.

Sports

It’s a wonderful idea to drink while watching sportular (yes, I believe this should be a word) activities. It’s fun to enjoy a healthy buzz while watching someone else enjoying a healthy body. You should always celebrate the human spirit in sport. The athletes have worked so hard to get where they are at in their lives, and you’ve worked so hard to get to the front of the line to order your drink. It’s admirable.

Dancing

Unless you are a professional dancer, you’re probably not a very good dancer. However, after a few drinks you’ll be serving people all over the dance floor. If you don’t know what “serving” is, watch the classic movie You Got Served (I believe it was up for an Academy Award. Or it was awful. I’ve never seen it.)

Politics

It can be hard to watch a bunch of stuffy shirts constantly sling mud at each other while giving endless speeches, and making countless promises. It becomes way more bearable if you take a drink every time someone says, “reach across the aisle”.

News

If it’s not highlighting 25 stories that show the worst of human nature, it’s doing a 15 minute piece on a squirrel that got stuck in a well for 4 weeks, but survived, so the townspeople gave him the key to the city and elected him mayor. Sometimes you need to have a drink in you to be able to swallow all that hard-hitting news.

Take my advice. I’m an expert (yes, it’s expertise, not a problem.) All these things are better with a drink.

(Disclaimer: You probably shouldn’t drink all day. If Mayor Squirrel’s alcohol committee has taught us anything, it’s moderation.)

About the author

The Lady Wine Gifted

My name is Jessica Trejo, and I'm not afraid to admit that I drink. That's why I'm Wine Gifted. I like talking and writing about wine and drinking!

Leave a Comment