I suppose I should explain what I mean by “getting drunk on wine is the best”. I’m not saying that having some cocktails or some beers is not awesome. It certainly is, and I would never disrespect other types of drinkers. I love you all. What I am saying here is more that getting drunk on wine is more socially acceptable. Since wine was invented, which I believe was about 235 million years ago, it has built itself quite a reputation. Entire careers are built around it, and I’m not talking about wine makers. I’m talking about people that are paid good money just to drink it, and tell us what they think about it. So let me explain more why being a wine drunk is the best.
Firstly, the most obvious reason: It’s way classy. Wine drinkers aren’t ashamed to let everyone know that they drink wine constantly. If I were to tell another wine lover that I can kill a bottle in 1 night, that person would probably tell me, “so what? I drink 2.” If I told someone that I can kill a bottle of vodka in 1 night, that person would probably tell me,”you should probably seek some help. How are you not dead?” Also, people throw fancy parties centered around wine. Walking around a room with a wine glass in your hand, tasting and re-tasting 76 different wines is completely respectable.
Another reason why wine drunk is the best: the health benefits. I know I’ve said this many times before, but it’s always worth mentioning. Wine helps with heart disease, diabetes, and stroke prevention. Also, most recently, I also talked about how wine is linked to weight loss. Drinking a glass or 2 of wine at the end of the night can curb that desire to eat after dinner snacks. Plus, it’s physically easier to drink wine. Beer has a tendency to cause some bloating, and hard liquor can set your throat and esophagus on fire.
Finally, wine is such a versatile drink, it finds itself as a good partner with everything. No matter what you plan on eating, there is a wine that will pair with it. Yes, even junk food will pair with wine. Also, did you know that there is wine ice cream, and wine milkshakes? It’s true, and you wouldn’t believe how delicious it is. Oh, I can’t forget to mention that it also makes me better. When I drink wine, I’m classy, more social, and have many have intelligent, witty conversations. Without wine, I sit alone in a rocking chair on my porch, and shoot squirrels with a pellet gun.
I think it’s been made pretty clear here. Getting drunk on wine is just the best. Pick a bottle for tonight, and drink it all. Cheers!